Sunday, October 31, 2010
10 things
i like about me:
1. eyes
2. teeth
3. nose
4. calves
5. fingers
6. wrists
7. boobs
8. waist
9. hair
10. arms
i hate about me:
1. belly
2. the indent between my hips and thighs. (it like goes out at my hips, back in then out at my thighs. it's mostly bone, barely any fat but i can't wear pencil skirts! :[ )
3. thighs
4. butt
5. cheeks
6. face shape (circle)
7. hips
8. how i can't see my ribs or hip bones
9. lower back fat
10. waist (depends)
1. eyes
2. teeth
3. nose
4. calves
5. fingers
6. wrists
7. boobs
8. waist
9. hair
10. arms
i hate about me:
1. belly
2. the indent between my hips and thighs. (it like goes out at my hips, back in then out at my thighs. it's mostly bone, barely any fat but i can't wear pencil skirts! :[ )
3. thighs
4. butt
5. cheeks
6. face shape (circle)
7. hips
8. how i can't see my ribs or hip bones
9. lower back fat
10. waist (depends)
you know what i hate?
girls who can eat EVERYTHING and weigh NOTHING
my friend.. shes 5'3, and 79 pounds! she eats THE MOST FOOD EVERR! and it suckkss asss
why do they get to be skinny?
i love fashion.
i want to be able to actually wear the clothes i own.
i probably wear 1/10 of the clothes i own.
i HATE my body.
i HATE food.
screw it, i'm done messing up. i'm done giving in. i'm done with the cravings.
i'm living on gum, water, diet coke, and music.
my friend.. shes 5'3, and 79 pounds! she eats THE MOST FOOD EVERR! and it suckkss asss
why do they get to be skinny?
i love fashion.
i want to be able to actually wear the clothes i own.
i probably wear 1/10 of the clothes i own.
i HATE my body.
i HATE food.
screw it, i'm done messing up. i'm done giving in. i'm done with the cravings.
i'm living on gum, water, diet coke, and music.
TOO MUCH CANDY
today=2500
yesterday=1800
UUGGHH sooo disgusting. i have a doctors appt tomorrow. at least the good thing about looking disgustingly fat and bloated is that she might tell me to lose more so my family will actually be encouraginh me to lose weight and making me skinny :) that would be the life! i also just really want to learn about my body! cause i look so gross. im in the "healthy" weight range and under the average, so why do i still look fat? and you might say its "the disease" but its not. i know its a little part of it, but it's not. i'm legit fat. and i don't know what to do! i hate being only 4'11. i really want like big boobs cause then it'll make my tummy look smaller!! it'll hide my fat! thats how the rest of the women in my family deal with it but my boobs are only like between a 32A-34B. (mostly b's but sometimes i'll find an A, and the 34's are getting pretty lose, same with 32's) UGHH it totally sucks.
today i prob had around.. 15 pieces of candy FOR SHIZ. but that was only about HALF of my calorie intake. the other was my lunch where my rents made me eat 5 SLICES OF GARLIC BREAD. and at the end they were like "wow you ate a lot. you did good"
i think the reason i binge is because if i eat anything, i eat everything. and my rents MAKE ME EAT. I WANT TO LIVE ON MY OWN IN COLLEGE ALREADY
why can't i be skinny???? i'm sick and tired of hiding behind sweatshirts and baggy clothes.
yesterday=1800
UUGGHH sooo disgusting. i have a doctors appt tomorrow. at least the good thing about looking disgustingly fat and bloated is that she might tell me to lose more so my family will actually be encouraginh me to lose weight and making me skinny :) that would be the life! i also just really want to learn about my body! cause i look so gross. im in the "healthy" weight range and under the average, so why do i still look fat? and you might say its "the disease" but its not. i know its a little part of it, but it's not. i'm legit fat. and i don't know what to do! i hate being only 4'11. i really want like big boobs cause then it'll make my tummy look smaller!! it'll hide my fat! thats how the rest of the women in my family deal with it but my boobs are only like between a 32A-34B. (mostly b's but sometimes i'll find an A, and the 34's are getting pretty lose, same with 32's) UGHH it totally sucks.
today i prob had around.. 15 pieces of candy FOR SHIZ. but that was only about HALF of my calorie intake. the other was my lunch where my rents made me eat 5 SLICES OF GARLIC BREAD. and at the end they were like "wow you ate a lot. you did good"
i think the reason i binge is because if i eat anything, i eat everything. and my rents MAKE ME EAT. I WANT TO LIVE ON MY OWN IN COLLEGE ALREADY
why can't i be skinny???? i'm sick and tired of hiding behind sweatshirts and baggy clothes.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
BOO
halloween... and that means candy...
SOOO that sucks.
today=1800 cals almost or aroundish. rents made me eat dinner. i have a doctors appointment monday so i'm tryna eat "normalish" for today and tomorrow but that meant around 1200-1500. NOT 1800 :/ at least i won't really gain from it though considering thats what i'm actually supposed to be eating.
but tomorrow will be 300 calories max before i go trick or treating cause i'll def have lots of candy. and i'm going over to a friends house so who knows what food i'll eat there :/
i carved a pumpkin earlier. the nose broke off, although it still look somewhat okay.
tomorrow i'm going over to my friends house for trick or treating :) i LOVEE to trick or treat :) ahah. im gonna be the queen of hearts. so my GRANDMA bought me the costume.. it's very short, low cut, and leatherish looking. and veeryyy slutty. although on me i have small boobs so it's cute but kindaa sluttyish? here's what it looks like: http://www.coachhousegifts.com/seasonal/product.php?productid=19910
i love halloween. love the holidays. although the pumpkin pies, pumpkin seeds, candy corn, they're all my weaknesses. fucking fantastic. but i won't that get me down. treating myself is over. i don't have to maintain any more for this damn doctors appointment. 85 here i come <3
SOOO that sucks.
today=1800 cals almost or aroundish. rents made me eat dinner. i have a doctors appointment monday so i'm tryna eat "normalish" for today and tomorrow but that meant around 1200-1500. NOT 1800 :/ at least i won't really gain from it though considering thats what i'm actually supposed to be eating.
but tomorrow will be 300 calories max before i go trick or treating cause i'll def have lots of candy. and i'm going over to a friends house so who knows what food i'll eat there :/
i carved a pumpkin earlier. the nose broke off, although it still look somewhat okay.
tomorrow i'm going over to my friends house for trick or treating :) i LOVEE to trick or treat :) ahah. im gonna be the queen of hearts. so my GRANDMA bought me the costume.. it's very short, low cut, and leatherish looking. and veeryyy slutty. although on me i have small boobs so it's cute but kindaa sluttyish? here's what it looks like: http://www.coachhousegifts.com/seasonal/product.php?productid=19910
i love halloween. love the holidays. although the pumpkin pies, pumpkin seeds, candy corn, they're all my weaknesses. fucking fantastic. but i won't that get me down. treating myself is over. i don't have to maintain any more for this damn doctors appointment. 85 here i come <3
Hey Everyone!
So here's a little introduction as to who I am...
My name is Haley. I'm a freshman in highschool. Have been struggling with weight my whole life. Am not sure if I have an ED but I know I have a big issue with food and my body/weight, and so I'm pretty sure I have an EDNOS.
I just made this website and hope to update it everyday, although if I'm on vacation or do not have access to the internet, hopefully it will only be one day without posting.
So to anyone out there who is reading this, heello :)
My name is Haley. I'm a freshman in highschool. Have been struggling with weight my whole life. Am not sure if I have an ED but I know I have a big issue with food and my body/weight, and so I'm pretty sure I have an EDNOS.
I just made this website and hope to update it everyday, although if I'm on vacation or do not have access to the internet, hopefully it will only be one day without posting.
So to anyone out there who is reading this, heello :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)